Finding Adventure

My son is a full-on-teenager. Mood swings? Check. Sesaw between wanting to be left alone and independent but then still wanting snuggle time before bed? Check. The notion that anything suggested by mom and dad is “boring?” Check...

We’re also experimenting with him staying by himself through parts of the day versus an all day “daycare” this summer. We’ve put limits on screen time as well as created a list of activities that promote some learning to keep the brain from becoming mush over the summer.

Yet, often when I come home and ask about his day, I’m greeted with “it was boring.” My standard response is “boring people get bored” but it’s caused me to pause and think about it more.

I'm not the first to suggest this, but it feels like we’re losing our imagination and our ability to create our own adventures.

I don’t want to blame devices (iPads, phones, TVs, computers)…but when we look around, entertainment and activity is constantly “pushed” towards us. We’re one swipe away from being distracted, one Netflix away from entertainment. We don't have to use our imagination. And like a muscle, I believe our imagination is wasting away.

Adventure Is Out There

I love to travel. And I’m lucky that my spouse shares in that passion. As we’ve gotten older and more financially stable we have begun taking bigger, more extravagant trips. I find myself spending a good portion of my year planning the next trip and the trip after that to the point that I find myself ignoring the everyday-adventures. My wanderlust causes me to miss out on being present in the moment.

When I was a kid, the fields and small stream near my house became something more. My friends and I weren’t just kids playing in a stream, we were explorers. We were soldiers. We were astronauts.

Today? I can be all of those things…on my Xbox. On my iPad. On Netflix. I never have to leave the couch. And I realized that I’m not always the best example for my son. Look, there's nothing wrong with screen time and I don't want to demonize it. But it's something that we have to evaluate often to make sure we're staying in balance.

Recently, I’ve made it a point to make time for an “adventure.” Not “let’s go do something” but actually saying out-loud: “let’s go have an adventure.” Even just phrasing it that way, adds a sense of magic and wonder. Colin will roll his eyes a bit, but eventually gets on-board.

One night, we walked to a large field and kicked a football as hard as we could and watched the sunset together. Another night, we walked to a different field and hit golf balls. Adventure doesn’t have to cost a dime. And each time we walked home, I was rewarded with “thanks for spending time with me dad.”

It’s Not Always Easy

It’s not easy. When we’re on vacation and traveling…we don’t have to worry about the bills. We aren’t thinking about all the chores that need to get done and we’re removed from the work-place drama. When I get home from work, I try to find time to workout, do chores around the house, pay the bills and get ready for the next day of work. Making time for adventure seems frivolous given the limited amount of “free” time we have during the week.

But that’s the thing…these “adventures” don’t have to be grandiose. It doesn’t have to be white-water rafting or repelling or deep sea fishing. Walking to a field with a couple of golf clubs and some cheap golf balls you bought at a garage sale can lead to an epic adventure.

All in, I think we spent about 45 minutes together…and I don’t know about him, but it was the best 45 minutes of my day.

So, go on…turn the screens off, flex your imagination and go have yourself an adventure.