The Dark Ages: Pre-Social Media

I grew up pre-social media (gasp!). That’s right kids…there was a time before Facebook, Instagram and TikTok. I'm sure there are some old black and white photos laying around somewhere to prove it. It wasn’t quite the dark ages, but there were some significant disadvantages.

Fun Fact: I lived in Minnesota for a short-while. Two years. And I was young. Kindergarten and first grade. My memories during that time are super-fuzzy. I have flashes of the school I went to and our neighborhood. I can see our basement and yard. And I remember one, crazy Halloween with way too much snow and a trick or treat outing that lasted all of 15 minutes.

So, imagine my surprise (and delight) when a childhood friend from that time found me on Facebook. When I saw the friend request, I had a flashback of walking to his house. I could almost see his house and door, the inside. It was a surreal moment.

Even more surreal…seeing this person “all grown up.” My memory of them was of a 6-year-old, yet, here they were, a full-grown adult.

And it just hit me: I had been a part of other kids’ lives for a short two years and then *poof* gone. I have photos of us at my birthday party and school photos and yet, they went on…had lives, grew up. I wonder how often they pulled out photos from kindergarten and first grade…saw my picture and wondered “who was that? Where did he go?”

Growing up pre-social media did have some drawbacks. We lost touch with people far easier than we do today. There was no way for me to find old friends from Minnesota, nor for them to find me. The technology wasn’t there to stay “up to date” with a lot of people all around the globe.

I find myself going through the same thing with people I went to high school with. I’ll be around former classmates and a name gets dropped and I, for the life of me, can’t place them (sigh, do I have to admit that Mr. Joe DeGrado was right about that one?). Fast forward to having flashes of old college mates that I lost touch with and not being able to find them on social media leaves me wondering...where are they? Are they happy?

That was more than twenty years ago. We all had big dreams. Going away to college is unique in that we became each other’s family and sounding boards. We went through hard lessons, triumphs and spent our last four years of “childhood” together. And yet, we were on the leading edge of social media; most of us didn’t digitally “connect” before moving on.

And so, we lost touch. High school, college, team sports, even work…these shared experiences create such unique bonds. Yet, before social media, there were only so many of those bonds we could actively hold on to once we, or someone else, moved on.

I know I went on a tangent with my post about the death of letter writing (you should revisit it, it was a good one!), but, there are benefits to social media. We get to retain that sliver of connection that we once shared…it allows us to transcend distance and time.

Do I talk to every connection I have on social media on a regular basis? No. But I browse. I find myself smiling when an old connection shares a funny story or a life-victory. I still cheer for them. I feel sad for them when I read about their struggles. And while the connection isn’t as powerful as it once was…it’s still there.

So, for all the complaining I’ve done about social media and how it’s (negatively) impacted other things (like letter writing and face-to-face connecting), I’m also grateful that it exists. I’m grateful that a kid I knew 35 years ago grew up to be an great man. I’m grateful that he remembered me, found me and connected with me. And I’m grateful that all of you stay connected with me, in whatever way you can.